So this is my first time blogging from a first time mummy-to-be! My plan from doing this is to make other mummy’s out there know how they’re not as alone as I truly feel right now on the journey from pregnancy to motherhood and beyond!

Im currently 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant and am far from glowing! In fact I thought pregnancy was going to be the easy part! How wrong was I? I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks and after a euphoric couple of days, my ever lingering anxiety set in, soon crashing me down to earth and reminding me nothing in life is easy! I’ve suffered from anxiety disorder since I was 11, this means everyone who has normal rational worries.. But for me it’s completely blown out of proportion and I worry beyond what is considered normal, in the past the use of anti-depressants were a great help to me, they enabled me to start a normal relationship with my now husband, and have an engagement without being overshadowed by dread! We set our wedding date for September and I had a massive buzz from all the planning! However in May we decided that once the wedding was done we’d plan to extend our family beyond us and the dogs 😉 so I started the process of weaning off my tablets as they are deemed unsafe for pregnancy! By my wedding day my anxiety understandably increased but in a way I was still in control and they subsided as soon as I got to the church and not to be seen again.. Or so I thought!

I battled my anxiety for the first week of realising my pregnancy and was thrilled when I eventually “beat” it. About a week later morning sickness hit! And boy did it hit me hard! I have now continuously felt this, from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. This wasn’t how pregnancy was supposed to be. Don’t get me wrong, I knew the path to motherhood wasn’t a walk in the park but when you hear “don’t worry it’ll pass by 14 weeks” it fills me with dread.. 14 weeks is 8 weeks from start to finish and I just don’t feel like me anymore! I’ve tried every self help remedy, ginger biscuits, sickness bands, grapefruit, dry biscuits.. Nothing helps, and I am exhausted with force feeding myself every hour to just feel 5 minutes relief!

That brings me to today! Today, I felt I could take it no more, my emotions are high, I’m crying 4 times a day and vomiting just as much, so I seeked help in the professionals.. Or not. I get that any medication I take will reach the baby, but if I’m honest I will be a shadow of my former self if this continues and won’t be any kind of mother by the time baby is born!

Back to work I go tomorrow, let’s hope for a better, brighter day or at least a busy one to distract me from this overwhelming feeling of dread that has plagued me since the weekend!